The most self-centered people in a group aren’t always the ones who laugh the loudest or demand everyone’s attention. Psychologists point to a much more subtle nuance that allows one to identify a hidden egoist. According to specialized research, such individuals have a masterly skill in seizing the initiative. They skillfully make any dialogue revolve around their own experiences, often without even realizing their behavior.
This was reported by siliconcanals.com.
Unconscious script of self-presentation
The insidiousness of this behavior lies in its automaticity. Most people who practice this style of communication truly believe that they are being empathic. They feel that by sharing a similar incident from their life, they establish a connection and support the other person.
Psychologists call this phenomenon conversational narcissism. Your responses may look helpful and friendly, but in reality they act as a lever that constantly shifts the spotlight of attention from the other person to your own Self.
Biological program: why the brain chooses itself
From a neurobiological point of view, the desire to talk about oneself is understandable. Our brains are programmed to perceive reality through the filter of personal experience. This cognitive bias causes us to immediately look for analogies in our own memory when someone else shares their story.
The problem arises at the moment when we voice every association that comes up, without allowing the interlocutor to finish the thought. The hormonal factor also comes into play: talking about yourself stimulates the production of dopamine. This neurotransmitter gives us a short-term feeling of pleasure, making the process of self-presentation a kind of biological reward.
Subtle methods of intercepting attention
Conversation interception can occur in two forms:
Instant redirection. You mention a new hobby, and a second later you are listening to a lecture about how your friend did it in school. Your original topic is completely supplanted by other people’s memories.
Expert advice. You share a problem, expecting sympathy, but instead of questions you receive ready-made instructions. The interlocutor is not trying to understand the uniqueness of your situation; he is simply waiting for a pause to interject his authoritative opinion.
Conversational Egocentrism Test
To test yourself, psychologists offer a simple exercise. After your counterpart has finished the story, try asking three follow-up questions before inserting at least one phrase about yourself or your experience. If this seems like an impossible task or makes you feel uncomfortable, you may be more prone to conversational narcissism than you think.
The main irony of this habit is that it is born from a sincere desire to get closer. We open up to find common ground and not feel alone. However, by constantly pulling the blanket over ourselves, we achieve the opposite effect – we create distance and leave the interlocutor with the feeling that he was never heard.
Previously, « Cursor » told you what the habit of writing by hand says about you.
Source:
cursorinfo.co.il
